Working On Me

Regardless of how hard I try, sometimes I still feel like that little, shy girl who shoved her hands in her pockets and walked around with her head down. The struggle is definitely real. While I want to encourage, inspire, and bring something amazing to the table, still at the end of the day, the only thing I can do is work on me. I can’t change anyone else. I can’t motivate, encourage, or inspire anyone on my own. The only thing I can do is share my experiences. I don’t have it all figured out. But I know the One who knows it all. 

Years ago, I realized that I would never have an ordinary life. If you’ve been following my journey, then you know there are always up and downs. Sometimes regardless of how well I eat, exercise, control my stress, etc., I still have days when life is just especially hard. Even though I have challenges doesn’t mean that I have to allow those challenges to define me or stop me. Instead of striving to be ordinary, I have decided that I really do want to be extraordinary. Not in the sense that I want to be better than anyone else, but in the sense that I want to become the person God created me to be. He didn’t call me to be like the world, but He created me to follow Him and to reflect His image. 

My flesh is weak. My ankle dislocates along with my ribs. I have muscles knots constantly. I have to eat a strict diet because my body can’t tolerate certain foods. If I work more than usual, I get swelling in my hand, wrist, and back. Even though I have received healing in my body, I still have issues at times. I could dwell on my flaws and imperfections or I can try to work on the person underneath it all. 

When I work on my mindset, then I am able to develop the right perspective to help me to continue along my journey. God has blessed me to overcome obstacles that I thought would destroy me. He’s helped me to go beyond my physical and mental limitations. Reading His word and praising Him helps me to rise above my limitations. 

Yesterday as I reached my step goal on Fitbit, the app made a comment to insinuate that those 20,000 steps were no problem for me. So often people see the success, but they don’t see the struggle. My legs and feet ached and I thought I would never get there. I hadn’t slept well the night before and my body was aching all over. To some it may seem crazy for me to keep pushing, when I’m obviously in pain, but to me I’m training. I’m teaching myself to go beyond the resistance, and to not give up when life gets hard. Every day those 20,000 steps are challenging for me, and every day I strive to reach the goal. Because I remember what it felt like to lie in bed, barely able to walk for months. I never want to be in that shape again. I remember having to make the decision to keep going or to give up on it all—my hopes and my dreams. When I decided to keep going and give my life everything that I had to give, that included showing up every day and fighting for my life. Even when it’s really hard. 

The greatest accomplishments in the world are the ones that are the hardest for us to achieve. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to surrender our lives to God, and ask Him to use us for His honor and glory. 

Love and blessings, 


Leave a Reply