We don’t always talk about it, do we, sweet friends?
Sometimes, we take all the pain and hold it in the deepest places of our souls. It feels too real and raw and complex to talk about. So, we don’t.
We go through our days and just skim the surface. Our conversations are light. And our prayers are basic. We are in our lives but not living them fully.
The truth is that we try so hard to hold it all together because we are terrified to take a peek inside to see how bad it all really is in there. We’ve stuffed so many disappointments, heartaches, fears, and insecurities inside us that we don’t take a chance on any of it spilling out.
If you ask us how we are doing, we will reply FINE. How often do we say we are fine when our insides tremble, and our minds scream for help? We don’t even tell God how bad it all seems. We just stuff, smile, and ignore even though we feel like we are dying inside.
But there’s another way.
As the anxious thoughts bombarded me the other day, I stopped trying to be strong. I stopped telling myself it was fine and acknowledged the pain. When I whispered to God that I was scared and hurting so badly and told Him all the reasons, He reached for me and let me pour it all out. Falling apart in my Lord’s arms was one of the most healing moments of my life.
God took the pain. He gathered up every morsel of my burden and carried it for me. In my weakness, He showed me true strength.
While pretending to be strong, I don’t need the Lord. If I don’t acknowledge my heartaches, I can’t give them to the Lord. I carry them everywhere I go and wonder why I feel so tired and overwhelmed.
But when I meet God with genuine honesty and desire a real relationship with Him. He understands the groaning of my heart that my mind can’t even comprehend. When I open up and let Him into my life, I mean all of it, not just the ideal parts, but the deep, heartwrenching parts, then He becomes MY GOD. And I get to know Him on a deeper level.
I realize how much pain I cause myself by pretending to be strong and that everything is fine. Today, I recognize strength is not seeing how much pain and burdens I can carry but how much I can give to my Lord. True power is trusting God to take all my pain and use it for good.
Sweet friends, I pray you trust God enough to fall apart in His arms if you are hurting. He’s a safe place and knows how to help you. Will you let Him help you?