Why do I suddenly need to clean everything when it’s time to work?

• By candidasullivan
• February 21, 2024
• No Comments

I’m now fighting the urge to turn off my computer and clean my house. Why? Because I have a long list of things I want to do today. I have lots of work to do, without the focus to actually do any of it. 

I tell myself it’s because my desk is messy. If I’d only clean off my desk, then maybe, just maybe, I’d have the energy and inspiration to write something great. But it’s not really my messy desk. I’ve used that excuse before, and after cleaning my desk spotless, the urge to procrastinate was even stronger. 

My actual problem is that my mind is a mess. 

I’ve been going with the flow of life without an actual plan. I’ve been allowing life, stress, and appointments to derail my day. Somewhere in the last few weeks, I’ve allowed other things to take priority over what’s most important. I’ve stopped making to-do lists and started working from whatever pops into my mind next is what I will do strategy, and it makes me feel so overwhelmed. 

I’ve not taken the time to walk. 

I’ve not taken the time to sit and think.

I’ve not taken the time to ask God what I need to do each day. 

Instead of intentionally living my days, I’ve been wandering around on auto-pilot, just trying to make it through the day. And today, I feel the weight of it all. 

The weight of worrying. 

The weight of procrastinating.

The weight of negative thoughts. 

The weight of stuffed down emotions. 

We can operate on auto-pilot for a while, but then it catches up with us. As I feel the weight of these last few weeks, I decide that the cycle of worrying, procrastinating, ruminating on negative thoughts, and stuffing my emotions ends today. 

When I get still, even though my body feels anxious, it helps me to start the process:

1. I need to forgive myself for getting to this place.
2. I need to see where I am with it all. So, I journaled and began writing and processing.
3. I take a walk and pray for guidance.  

Sometimes, when I feel completely overwhelmed and anxious, I realize I am trying to figure it out without God’s perspective. 

One of the enemy’s greatest weapons is distraction and discouragement. If he can distract me by being busy, I fail to do the things that prosper my soul. Then, when I feel bad for being distracted, he uses discouragement to keep me stuck in the pain cycle. 

But my God knows the way out of the enemy’s hand. God knows how to help us thrive in any situation. He can take our messes and make them beautiful.

So when the enemy is roaring, God reminds me to be still. It’s not the storms outside of us that cause us pain, but the ones inside us. 

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