The love and acceptance you need is already inside of you

• By candidasullivan
• June 5, 2023
• No Comments

Words have hurt me. I’ve allowed hurtful words to tear me down. Some of those words were from others and some of them were from me. The hardest words to overcome are the ones we say to ourselves.

One night I sat in my laundry room, while my family slept, with my back against the dryer and my face covered in tears. I was hurting over something that someone said to me. I so desperately wanted this person, and if I am being honest every person, to love and accept me. That night God spoke to me. He told me the love and acceptance that I so desperately wanted from others was inside of me. I needed to love and accept myself before I could ask anyone else to love and accept me.

It was really that easy.

My whole life, I had been seeking from others what I needed from myself. It’s hard to be ourselves. It’s hard to love and accept our scars—the ones visible and invisible. But in doing so we have power over our lives.

Lord knows I am not perfect. I am covered with scars. Some of my scars are visible and some are invisible. But I am the person on the inside. I am the soul. My soul doesn’t have scars.

When I can humble my heart, and ask God to give me the right perspective, then no one else has the power to hurt me. The pain comes from own thoughts anyway. I used to think that I needed to fix other people and make them understand how I felt. Now, I know that I just need to understand. When someone else says something mean to me it has nothing to do with me. It comes from their own pain. Therefore, I am learning to give them grace and not react with pain.

When someone is lashing out with painful words, it is because the pain in them is so great that they need a way to release some of their pain. If we react with anger, then we just add more pain to their already painful hearts. I have learned if I can react with love and see their pain, instead of their ugliness, then it helps us both. Because we’ve all been there. We’ve all unloaded our pain onto others at one time or another. Sometimes we want to fight because the pain inside feels so great inside of us. If we don’t find a way to release it, then we feel as if we might explode.

I have learned that prayer is the best way to release our pain. Jesus wants us to give Him our pain. He can handle it. So many times in my feelings of overwhelm, I have found myself at His feet, sobbing. He understands every tear. When I yell at others or say hurtful things then it makes me feel bad. But when I talk to God, then I always feel better. Because He understands the groanings of my heart.