The Battle Within: Choosing Growth Over Comfort

• By candidasullivan
• February 15, 2025
• No Comments

It’s hard to face the truth that I have been sabotaging myself. Sitting with all the uncomfortable emotions and choosing to feel each one of them makes me sad. But this is a perfect example of the inward and outward person at war.

I could choose not to share all of this with you all, but many of you understand where I am coming from and how easy it is to harm ourselves. I genuinely think this is why God tells us to watch and pray.

Oh, sweet friends, it’s not just outside forces that can harm us. We have that ability with each choice we make. We can do things to help or harm ourselves.

Sometimes, it’s hard to face the truth. It isn’t easy to really see ourselves, to sit in discomfort and feel it when we want to run away. The Bible tells us that we reap what we sow. Therefore, we cause pain or joy with our actions.

I cause myself pain when I eat too much or the wrong things. I cause myself pain when I don’t write the words in my heart. They wake up in the middle of the night and swirl in my head, stealing my sleep.

My list of how I hurt myself every day is long. However, most of our actions come from living on autopilot. Most of the time, we are unaware of what we are doing. We’ve gotten so used to going through the motions that we’ve forgotten what truly living feels like.

We wear the same things, eat the same things, buy the same things, and watch the same things. I read once that some people live the same year over and over until they die. And I feel that deep inside of me.

The enemy wants us to live on autopilot. When we are predictable, we are not a threat; we become an easy target. Every time we give in to the enemy and do what he beckons us to do, we give him power over us. We accept the devil we know over the one we don’t.

We choose comfortable pain over changing. But when the pain becomes significant enough, we will find the courage to change. That’s where I find myself right now. I’m so sick of this pain. I’m ready to make the necessary changes.

So, I’m using my tears and discomfort to pray. I don’t want to cause my soul any more grief. If I suffer, I want it to be because I’m following the Lord and moving toward my dreams, not because I’m hiding from them.

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