For the first time in a long while, I don’t punch a time clock nor receive a paycheck. It’s an odd feeling to depend on someone else to take care of me, especially since I’ve always been so determined to be independent. It’s hard to see our own self-worth sometimes, and if we’re not careful, we will fall into the error of self-pity. That’s where I’ve been for a while now.
It bothers me that I can’t contribute to our family income. It bothers me that my husband has to work so hard, while I stay home. It bothers me that I’m not able to work a regular job, any longer. But focusing on the heartaches of my life won’t change them. All it will do is bring me down and have me wallowing in self-pity, which I hate.
However, if I focus on the blessings in my life, the heartaches seem so small. I remember a time when I begged God, every single day, to allow me to be a stay-at-home mom. Now that He has, I complain. I remember thinking, if I didn’t have a job I could write more. Now that I have more time, I just come up with more excuses. I have been focusing on all the things I can’t do, instead of being grateful for all that I can do.
I realize we are all human and these are all natural feelings and reactions, but I want to change. No more whining! I want to be thankful and recognize God’s blessings upon me. If I’m always complaining and whining, how can I give God any glory in my life? I want to praise my Lord!
So from this day forward, I will no longer presume—I’m not working right now or I’m not able to work. Instead, I will believe God has blessed me to be able to stay at home and take care of my kids. And while they are at school every day, I will write the words God lays on my heart and continue pursuing my dreams. I know God has something special planned for me and it will happen in His time. While I may not get the standard paycheck, my needs are always taken care of and God pays me in blessings. He’s a wonderful paymaster!
There’s nothing like the little smile that brightens my child’s face when I enter their classroom and play for a little while. Nothing compares to taking a few minutes to talk to someone having a bad day or spending a few minutes with my head bowed in prayer. I love it when the Spirit moves over me and the words form, and God gives me beautiful thoughts. I love it when God uses me to help someone else.
When I look at it like that I realize I have the best job in the world. I love working with God! And there are just some things money simply cannot touch—they’re priceless.
Have a wonderful day!!