My God, My Strength

I love my God! There are times when I would love to just hug Him and show Him how much I love Him. And how very much I appreciate all of the wonderful things He does for me, everyday.  I know that I could never, ever repay Him for His love and mercy, grace and forgiveness, but I believe He wants us to tell others how absolutely wonderful He is to us, and a few of the beautiful ways He blesses us each day.

I love to feel blessed. It surrounds me with an aura of happiness and thankfulness. It makes me so grateful for all of my trials and accomplishments, and opens my eyes to how merciful God is to me. Whenever I start examining my life and pulling apart the threads woven through battles, and the scars they left behind, I am always awed at how God brought me through each one. And each time He gives me a spot, knotted and tied, that reminds me of where we have been and what we have overcome together.

The older I get the more precious God’s word is to me. Regardless of how many times I read the scriptures, there is always something new in them—just for me. Take this verse for example:

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13.

That is such a powerful verse, filled with so much meaning. While I don’t have the ability to dissect the verses and discuss the meaning, I do know what God shows me. And today He has showed me about that strength. It comes from Him and by Him. He is our strength. If we only look to Him as the author and finisher of our faith, then anything is possible. However, I have found the blessings are extra powerful and special when you least expect them and when you’ve given up on them. When I say given up, I mean, believe that it is not God’s will for me.

 I, honestly, never believed I would be able to work again. However, there has always been a little spark of hope, even during the darkest days. Every day I get up and exercise and try to increase my endurance and strength, hoping that one day I will get better. I try to do more today, then I did yesterday. I’ve learned to welcome the pain and realize it’s necessary to get stronger—naturally and spiritually.

And I’ve learned that sometimes God pushes us to our limit just to show us that we can go way beyond what we imagined. It’s not our own strength that we need to rely on anyway. At some point my strength will always fail, but when I look to God there is always an abundance of strength. When I really think about it, I realize, I can’t even walk without Him holding my hands. When we realize we need God in order to live, then that is a wonderful shape to be in. It forces us to stay close to God and call upon Him, relentlessly. It reminds us that we are absolutely nothing, but God is everything.

Today, I start a new job. I didn’t fi1l out an application or even ask for a job, but God saw fit to give me one. He heard my pleas, whispered during the darkest hour of the night and saw the tears of my heartache. He knew I desired to work, but that I feared my limitations would prevent me from doing a good job. He knew that my family and I have made sacrifices in order for me to follow my dreams. He knew that it would be a while longer before my books provide me with any income. He knew that when pushed that I wouldn’t go against His word and go out on my own. He knew I would stand still and wait on Him to make things better for us. He knew that I would trust Him to take care of me.

And so He made a way for me, even when there was no way.

The absolute best part is that I don’t have to give up anything. I can still write for my Lord and put Him first in my life. I can still be a good Mommy (or try to be) and put my kids before my job. God has made a way for me to be able to do it all, without making any important sacrifices. Whenever my books are published, I will still be able to promote them and do school visits without getting behind. I’m not even worried that my hands will fail because I know if they do, God will wrap His hands around mine and bless me to do whatever I need to do.

And the best part is that He will bless me to help someone I love very much with her own dreams. It just doesn’t get much better than that.

Today, I’ve learned our limitations are God’s way of blessing us even more. They are placed before us as a reminder we need to pray and ask God to help us. Alone I can do so little, with God I can do ANYTHING!
Categories: Amniotic Band Syndrome, Candida Sullivan, Faith, Hope, Love, strength, Underneath the Scars

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