Embracing Truth and Self-Acceptance on the Journey to Healing

I must be on a journey of absolute truth because I keep asking God questions. The answers continue to be hard to hear, but in a beautiful way. When we become curious about things and willing to listen to what God has to say, He will reveal the truth to us. Most of the time, the truth really does hurt. But it also helps if we lean into it and allow it to improve us. 

I don’t want to be bitter about the things that have happened to me. I want to use it all for good. Even bad things can become a powerful story if we allow God to show us His perspective. 

This morning, I talked with God in my journal and asked Him why I continue to sabotage myself. 

You know me better than anyone else, Lord. What is holding me back? What am I thinking unconsciously? What is it? What’s standing in my way, Lord?

God told me I fear what other people might think or say about me. This fear comes from living with scars, from a lifetime of feeling like I don’t fit in or am not good enough, and from all the stares and whispers throughout my life. 

He assured me the love and acceptance I need will come from within and that I just need to “completely” love and accept myself right where I am, and I will overcome it. 

Not knowing how to do that beyond what I’ve already done, I wheeled my chair to my mirror. I leaned in close and talked to myself. I stared into my eyes and said the words my heart needed to hear. And it helped!

I felt the judgment soften and the love increase. Sometimes, I push myself so hard that I don’t understand why I do things and forget that I am doing my best with the current circumstances and resources. And others are, too. 

Harsh words or actions are not healing or helpful. They just make me feel worse. But loving words of compassion, encouragement, and hope soothe our souls. 

Psalm 36:7 KJV

How excellent is thy lovingkindness, O God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings.

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