Why You Can’t Be Friends With Your Kids

• By candidasullivan
• April 27, 2026
• No Comments

I am going to tell you something that you might not want to hear. You might not even believe me. But regardless of how this feels, sit with it and process it with the Lord. 

I want to say this gently, from the place where my mistakes and experience collided. 

You can’t be friends with your underage children. 

I remember wanting my kids to love me, want to spend time with me, and be my best friends. The problem is that I was called to be their mom, not their best friend. If I parent from friendship, I may let stuff slide that needs more than a friend can offer. And it can be terribly confusing for a child. 

If they see us as friends, they may disrespect our authority and even ignore it. When we blur lines, we create confusion. 

A friend says, ” Play video games with me all day.”

A mom says, ” Get off your electronics and do your chores.”

As a friend, we don’t want to discipline our children because we want them to like us. We want them to have the best of everything and never have hardships.

As a mom, we know that discipline will make them love us more one day. We also know it’s necessary, even when it’s not fun or the cool thing to do. We know that hardships make our children stronger and that they need them to grow into the best version of themselves. 

Parenting is hard. One day, as they grow, that relationship can turn into a beautiful friendship. If we struggle in this area, it can lead to confusion and challenges in the relationship. Later, they might disrespect us, mistreat us, and not even see an issue with it. 

Our kids will have lots of friends over the course of their lives. Many will come and go. But you are the only mom they will ever have. Don’t let the enemy shrink you down to a lesser version of what God called you to be. 

Let Him teach you how to be the mom your kids need. Let Him guide you in both discipline and encouragement. When we really think about how beautiful motherhood is, nothing else compares to the beauty of being given babies to love, nurture, and watch grow into various stages of life. 

When I think about the kind of mom I want to be, this is what comes to my mind. 

I want to be strong. I want them to know they can’t push me over and that I will do my best to protect them. But I also want to be comforting and gentle with their minds and hearts. I want to be loving, and I want them to always know how much I love them. I want to be encouraging and steady. I want them to know they can always count on me. I want to inspire them to become the best version of themselves. I want to teach them right from wrong, but also that grace covers us. I want to lead by example and show them what it looks like to love the Lord and follow Him. I want to pray for them and cover them in prayer daily. I want to show them God by how I live my life. 

Our actions and lifestyle are louder than our words ever could be. What we do matters more than what we say.