Why do we feel so ashamed to struggle?

I remember one particular walk with the Lord exceptionally well. I had tissues tucked in my pockets and more pain than I could carry. As I put one foot in front of the other, I cried and told God no one would love me if they knew all about me and the trial I was going through. 

Satan uses shame as a weapon. He tries to make us believe that our worth reflects what we do or don’t do. In an unworthy state of mind, we isolate ourselves and go to a very dark place. 

In those raw moments, I had so much shame about my trial. I could barely hold my head up, and I cried every day, several times a day. I couldn’t see how it could all improve in the darkness and hopelessness. It felt impossible, and I felt discouraged, hopeless, and so very broken.

One of my biggest hurdles was the fear of what other people would think if they knew all about me. The fear of being rejected and unloved broke my heart. I tried to live normally, even though I felt as if I was dying inside. 

In my mind, I was like the woman in the Bible, being accused and stoned. I imagined my loved ones glaring at me with their stones of disapproval, and I imagined the pain of each one hurled at me. What I failed to see at the time was Jesus. 

Jesus was there for me with more love and compassion than I could imagine. He didn’t have any stones of disapproval. His arms were open wide for me. In His arms, I found safety and more love than I can express. 

Through countless conversations and daily walks, Jesus helped me see things differently. His blood covers everything: every sin, fault, failure, and struggle. Sometimes, we have to go through things to have an experience to share. Jesus went through death to show us how to overcome it. 

Ephesians 3:13 KJV

13 Wherefore I desire that ye faint not at my tribulations for you, which is your glory.

If we look at things differently, we can rejoice that God chose us. We are His children, which puts a target on us. Therefore, the enemy will constantly attack us. Most of the time, we won’t get through one thing before Satan finds something else to hit us with.  

It’s painful, but the reward of suffering with God is beautiful. Jesus suffered greatly, and His suffering became our reward. 

We will be rejected, unloved, attacked, and criticized. But regardless of what we do or don’t do, JESUS LOVES US. He died for us. If He doesn’t judge our sins and hurl stones at us, we shouldn’t hurl stones at ourselves or each other. 

But even if they do, we need to know that we don’t deserve the cruelty of others. Yes, we make mistakes and choose the wrong path from time to time, but what we need in those times is love and compassion. 

This trial has taught me so much about the importance of love and compassion. When I hurl stones of judgment, I can’t shine a light on God. The moment I decide to judge, I block the love. 

Now, when I see someone else struggling, I do my best to help them. I try to pray for them and show them the Lord with my kindness. Sometimes, that means that I first have to pray for myself. I have to ask God to help me overcome my urge to judge and replace it with the power of His love. 

It helps me to remember that we all struggle in some way. We all have demons to fight. Some people are just better at hiding it than others. So, don’t let it get you down, sweet friends! Sit with God until you feel better. He can forgive our sins and help us to see things differently.

Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash

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