Not everyone is good for us. Some relationships are toxic to us. While we can’t always cut the toxic people out of our lives, we can limit our time with them and decide how we will handle them. We can’t control how anyone treats us, but we can decide how to respond.
Some people love to fight. It makes them feel good to be mean to us. According to research, some people receive pleasure when they feel anger or aggression. Therefore, being mean to someone else becomes their drug. Especially when we respond back to their cruelty. But we don’t have to participate in every fight we are invited to attend.
Years ago, I had someone who was always triggering me. I was constantly feeling anger, stress, and like I would explode. Then, one day, I just decided that I was going to take away this person’s power over me. I refused to allow this person to make me mad again. So when they attacked, I did not respond at all. After a few more times of this, the person stopped trying to fight with me. It’s hard to fight with someone who will not fight back. When we decide ahead of time that we will not participate in another person’s ugliness, then we can stand our ground. When someone verbally attacks me and tries to spew their hatred onto me, I whisper to myself: You can’t make me mad. That is my new trigger. Then, I pray for them.
When we take our battles to the Lord, He will fight them for us.
Romans 12:19 (KJV)
19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
If we try to fight the battle on our own, we are in the Lord’s way. We have to turn it over to Him and ask Him how He wants us to proceed. I cause myself a lot of heartaches, at times, by trying to fight my own battles. But when we surrender it all to Him, God can change things instantly. He knows our situation and exactly how to help us.
People can only hurt us if we allow them to hurt us. At any given time, we get to choose how we are going to feel and how we are going to react. God designed it this way. Another person can only have the power over us that we give them. Therefore, when someone attacks us, we must immediately take them to the Lord in prayer. When we humble our hearts and pray, the enemy must flee.
God will give us everything that we need to do this. It also helps me to see that the person being mean to me is suffering in their life in some way. They are usually miserable, so they want to spread their misery. Instead of spreading their misery, I will counter their attack with love and prayer.
Love and prayer can move mountains.