The Story I Never Wanted to Tell

• By candidasullivan
• July 24, 2026
• No Comments

Why did you write Zippy? 

I’ve been asked this question a lot. And the answer has so many different layers to it. The truth is that I didn’t want to. I had spent so much of my life trying to hide my scars and the emotional pain they caused. It was not my choice to create a zebra without stripes. I would not have created a zebra with pain and hardships to overcome. Nor did I want to open up the discussion about my own scars. 

I wanted to write fiction that would be funny and make others feel good. I wanted a headshot only on the books, so my readers would never know I was scarred. I wanted to hide and write. So I would never have to stand before someone inquiring about my scars again.

I had a plan, but God had a purpose. 

I didn’t really create Zippy. God did. Zippy is a reflection of me. It’s a character who tells my story. 

When I was a little girl, I struggled with my scars. I tried to hide them. I tried to hide myself. I went through my life feeling unseen, unheard, and misunderstood. I got my first lesson on the power of words when a bully hurled the ugliest, most painful words at me. I wish I could tell you they bounced off me, but they didn’t. They buried themselves deep inside me. For years they replayed in my mind and became evidence against my worth.

She saw me and my scars, and it disgusted her. That’s the first time in my life that anyone had openly said anything negative about my scars. It was like poison. The painful words looped in my mind. I tried to hide the hurt, but it consumed me. 

Thoughts that others would be better off without me started popping into my mind frequently. I started imagining ways to end the pain. It’s not that I wanted to die, but I didn’t know how to live with the pain. It all felt so incredibly overwhelming. 

I was afraid and ashamed to tell anyone what I was feeling. I felt so alone. 

In my darkest hours, God came to me. He showed me different perspectives. He helped me to overcome the pain. He was my hope when I felt hopeless. 

God saw me.

God heard me.

God understood me.

And He loved me. 

So when He gave me the gift to write, He showed me how to explain the pain and the hope that only comes from Him. Zippy is not just a story to entertain. His stories are roadmaps that point children from pain to hope.

God asked me to become the person I desperately needed when I was a little girl. He sent me back into the darkness I once lived in—not to stay there, but to carry hope to the children still walking through it.

Whether we want to admit it or not, so many kids struggle with these same thoughts and feelings. When I do school visits, I use Zippy as a tool to show them that I see them and understand what they are going through. Then I tell them my personal story of how God helped me, how He took my pain and used it for purpose. 

I had an incident recently that shook me to my core. It knocked me down and had me questioning if I wanted to continue on this journey with Zippy and school visits. In my deep hurt, I wanted to quit and walk away. I asked God to show me what to do. 

As I sat on my porch one evening, God allowed me to hear the cries of those suffering in the same ways I did. That’s the first time I truly understood the power of what I do. He let me feel the need and understand on a deeper level.

I go through things. 

I struggle. 

But God shows up in my struggle and helps me learn how to overcome. 

Then I write books and blog posts to explain the pain and offer hope to those suffering. 

I want to tell you that God helped me, and He can help you, too. 

That’s why I write.