The Battle

I’m officially tired of “RESTING”! I don’t like yoga pants, ice packs, or my back pillow anymore.  My husband told me he can tell the kind of day I’m having by how I smell. Meaning if it’s a bad day, my perfume of choice is Camphor, Menthol, and Eucalyptus Oil. (Haha)

This Friday will be a month since I became injured. The constant pain and limitations just get on my nerves. Standing, sitting, and lying down are all challenging. I can’t seem to find comfort anywhere. And if all that weren’t bad enough, I got my right hand caught in the door yesterday at the post office. It was one of those crazy things where my hand didn’t do what I expected it to do. Now it’s swollen and painful.

Having said all of that (and thank you for giving me a few minutes to whine), I’m not allowing it to stop me today. I’m still working and typing and trying to climb from beneath the rubble to declare that I’m alive and, despite the attacks of my enemy, well.

My adversary wants me to go to bed, pull the covers over my head, and give up. Well, that’s not going to happen today or any other day. I tried that a few years ago and it didn’t really work out for me, so I learned then to get up and push through the pain—despite my circumstances.

That’s what has been so hard about this injury. I’m not accustomed to resting and taking it easy, nor giving into the pain. If I stopped every time something hurt, I would never do anything again. I’m more of a smile through the pain and always keep going kind of girl.

The devil is in my face, trying his best to stop me. When one obstacle doesn’t work, he throws ten more at me. And sometimes the realization that he will never stop trying to defeat me, scares me and makes me worry. All of the sudden I start focusing on the problems of tomorrow and forget about the blessings of today. Life has a huge array of “what ifs”, and I know better than to allow them to affect me badly.

That’s why it is so important for me to lift my eyes toward God and focus on His promises and goodness. Regardless of what happens, he will never leave me nor forsake me. When I reach the end of my strength, and I’ve pushed as far as I can push, that’s when my God steps in and takes over. He shows me that I’m capable of so much more than I realize.

When we fight and keep going despite the enemy’s attacks, we glorify God. The battle may make me bloodied and bruised,  but I’m alive. I have another day to tell people about my God and all that He does for me.

It is amazing to stand before of crowd of people, with my legs shaking from fatigue and pain, and witness my words touch their life. When I see tears fall or understanding flicker in their eyes, I know God placed me there. He got everything ready for me. The people in the crowd are not there by accident or coincidence. He put them in my path and gave me the words to help them. And I’m always so humbled and thankful that God helped me overcome my obstacles.

As I’ve said before, it’s not about me. My life should always be about God and His purpose for me. When my eyes are on God, I’m thankful for my suffering. I can see His hand working and I know everything will be just fine—better than it was before.

The enemy might knock me down, but he can’t hold me there! God and I have work to do. And I know that the devil is only trying to stop me. He doesn’t want me to make appearances or write books for my Lord. When I go beyond my limitations and do it anyway, it is like spitting fire in the devil’s face. And I rather like that image.

Last week I made front page of The Daily News.

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