Start again

• By candidasullivan
• July 3, 2024
• No Comments

Have you ever noticed how uncomfortable it feels to start something new? It makes me want to forget all about it and watch Netflix on the couch with my favorite snacks. Although I want the blessing that will surely come from this endeavor, I don’t like the work, sleepless nights, pain, frustration, and fear. I want it all to be comfortable, but I know that comfortable is a trap.

I’ve learned my lesson on chasing easier options. At least, I hope I have. While God can certainly make things easier, He still requires us to work and do our part. Sometimes, I get so hung up on the blessing (God’s part) that I fail to do my part (the work). And sometimes, the work God wants me to do is so uncomfortable or simple that I don’t do it. I stumble over the simplicity of God’s ways, looking for something bigger and better.

Days like today, when I’m thinking about it all and looking at my previous mistakes, I can’t help but wonder where I’d be if I hadn’t stopped doing the most important things years ago.

Where would I be on this journey if I had ignored the enemy and just followed my Lord?

That thought makes me cry. I can’t change one second of my past or fix any of my previous mistakes. As much as I’d love to go back and change so many things, I can’t. All I can do is learn from my mistakes and resolve to do better. I can ask God to forgive me, and beg Him to let me try again.

That’s the truly wonderful thing about God’s grace. God gives us all forgiveness and provides a way for us to turn things around. If we truly desire to change things, God will show us how.

He knows we are only human, and our flesh often gets in the way. God knows we sin and also see the regret and remorse for our actions. He doesn’t beat us down when we try our best and still mess up. Oh, no. My Lord wraps me in His arms, tells me I’m forgiven, and encourages me to forgive myself and start again.

So that’s what I’m doing. I’m starting again. I will take the lessons with me. But I’m choosing to forgive myself and let go of the rest. Dwelling on it and wishing for a different result doesn’t help me. It only keeps me stuck. But there is great beauty in forgiveness and a willingness to see and admit our wrongdoings.

Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of forgiveness!