Learning to Love the Reflection

• By candidasullivan
• October 19, 2025
• No Comments

It took me years to smile at her—the woman behind the dust and scars, the one I used to avoid meeting in the mirror. All I could see was my faults and failures. The reflection staring back at me was one of disgust and disapproval. Every day, I put myself down. I never looked good enough. I picked myself apart, and that made me feel bad.

Each insult I whispered to myself carved another wound deeper than any scar on my skin.

I did it for years.

My smiles and kind words were reserved for others. I didn’t give them to myself. Because in my eyes, my scars were shameful. I had heard the whispers behind my back and saw the smirks. And I allowed the opinions of others to affect me. Even when the mean people were no longer around, I was mean to myself. Because that’s what I thought I deserved.

Then, one day, I stopped and smiled at my reflection. It wasn’t a sudden burst of confidence, but a whisper from God reminding me that I am His creation, fearfully and wonderfully made. For the first time, I saw myself for who I truly am. Underneath the scars and dust is a soul — the person underneath the scars is loving and kind.

I am not my body. So that day, I decided to love and accept myself right where I was.

The first few times I smiled in the mirror, it made me feel crazy. But I persisted. The next time, I leaned into the mirror and whispered, “I love and accept you just as you are.” The first time, it felt strange. The second time, it felt freeing. By the third time, I started to believe it.

In that moment, I understood that loving myself was agreeing with God about the worth He placed within me.

As it turns out, the love and acceptance I thought I desperately needed from others were inside me all along. Whatever we love will grow and touch others. It is hard to lose weight and heal our bodies when we don’t like them. We can’t truly serve the Lord and love others if we don’t love ourselves.

When we love ourselves, we will do what is best for ourselves. And the love inside of us will shine outward.

I used to look at the scar wrapped around my arm with disgust, always trying to hide it. It is the scar most people comment on. One day, my perspective changed when I realized I could have lost my arm. The band surrounded it. But praise God, I got to keep my arm.

Now, I see my scars as a blessing and live by grace. I use these hands and feet to serve others and my Lord. When I look in the mirror, I smile at my reflection and offer myself love instead of criticism.