We can’t have a joyful life without God. God needs to be the center of our lives to be peaceful, joyful, and content. Without Him, we do our best, but we will always be searching for the things in others only God can give us. If we want a better relationship with our spouse or children, we must develop a better relationship with God.
So often, we think the problem is the other person, but in my experience, the problem is me. When I get in the trenches with the Lord and dig to the bottom of my heartache, God will help me deal with the real problem. We teach other people how to treat us by how we treat them. If I am angry or yelling, other people will also speak to me that way. But if I am calm and loving when speaking to other people, I will teach them to speak to me that way as well.
Before I look at the faults and failures of others in my relationships, it is always best for me to look at myself. When I can humble my heart and ask God to show me what I am doing wrong, then He will not only reveal my errors to me, but He will show me how to overcome them. Forgiveness and unconditional love are the answers.
When we tell other people about our bad relationships, we seldom speak of our part in it all. In our eyes, we are usually the victims, which is how we tell our stories. The greatest thing we can do, however, is to take responsibility for our actions and our lives. We do this by taking it all to the Lord and asking Him to forgive us and overcome the hardships.
Not too long ago, I was struggling with some relationships in my life. One day, I asked God to help me to fix them. I thought He would give me something complicated, with many steps to do. But He gave me one thing. Just love them, He told me. So, instead of focusing on everything they did wrong, I focused on loving them. And it changed everything.
When we look at others through a lens of love instead of judgment, we can see the other person’s soul. We all sin, but God has enough love to cover each one. It is not our job to punish other people or to fix them. It is our job to love them.