I remember the day when I called my husband and sobbed into the phone. Over and over, in between my sobs, I explained to him that I didn’t want to write anymore. A rejection letter had taken me to this place of brokenness.
I read the words, ‘This story doesn’t have the ability to touch anyone’s heart’ repeatedly. Every time I read them, a new stab of pain impaled my heart because I accepted the words as truth. The rejection came from my manuscript (now a published book), “Underneath the Scars.” It hurt me so greatly because it had taken me seven years to open my heart and tell my story. And it was rejected so coldly.
The rejection seeped into the deep places of my heart. I tucked my manuscripts away in a drawer and stopped sending them out. Suddenly, it was hard to get out of bed every day. All I had to do all day was take my kids to school, and I struggled with that task. My spirit was broken along with my heart.
I am so thankful that God would not allow me to give up. Through the darkest times, He gave my soul a glimpse of hope. Although I no longer spoke of my hopes and dreams, I imagined children all around me listening to my Zippy story every night before I fell asleep.
Psalm 37:4-5 (KJV)
4 Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
5 Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
The need to share my struggles was greater than my fear of rejection. In February of 2011, I started writing a blog. God used that blog to bring the publisher to me. In December 2011, “Underneath the Scars” and “Zippy and the Stripes of Courage” were released on the same day. Both books were a finalist for a Readers Favorite Award, nominated for a Book of the Year Award, and became best sellers. Testimonials poured in from those who had read my books; many even shared their heartaches with me.
I am sharing this story today to encourage you. Do you have a dream tucked away in your heart that seems impossible?
God can take our broken pieces and make them beautiful. At first, I thought the only way I could share my story and truly help others would be if the story, writing, and grammar were perfect. For years, I was paralyzed by my need for perfection. Now I know that God takes my messy, imperfect stories and uses them to connect me with others. No one has ever been inspired by my perfect day. When I write with a broken heart, rawness, and tears, others can nod their heads and whisper, “Me too.”
Now let me back up to the day that I almost quit. I took that moment to put it all in God’s hands. As I lay on the bathroom floor crying, I told God I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t make it happen. So, then and there, I placed it in His hands. When I put my writing in His hands and stopped worrying about publishing my work, He made a way for me.
When God calls us to do something, He will make a way. We must do our part and trust Him to do His part. And oh, how Has blessed me. Sweet friends, don’t let anyone put limitations on your dreams. God can make a way. He can open doors we can’t even see. If I had listened to the enemy, I wouldn’t have any of this.
Photo by Cayden Sullivan