Embracing Vulnerability: Finding Strength in the Struggle
- By candidasullivan
- January 12, 2025
- No Comments
I don’t know why allowing other people to see me still feels so hard. Underneath it all, I still feel like the little girl who shoved her hands in her pockets and was afraid to let anyone see the scars. Back then, it was a form of protection. If I could hide my hands, then I could fit it.
That may be the reason today.
It hurts more if we show ourselves to others and get rejected. Honestly, it cut deeper when my story, Underneath the Scars, was rejected versus when they rejected Zippy. That was one of my most brutal rejections. I sat night after night and poured everything I had onto the pages. I talked about things I had never dared to speak about before, and I received a cold response that stated my story didn’t have the ability to touch anyone’s heart.
Instead of rejecting my book, it felt like a rejection of me. I remember how those words damaged me and broke my spirit. God beckoned me to write from my deepest self, and the enemy tried to destroy that part of me.
As God calls to me and urges me to do big things and step into the light, my deeper self wants to remain hidden. I don’t want to expose or share any more of myself. I want to protect myself from the pain of being in the light and vulnerable to the enemy’s attacks.
Recently, I met a woman who shares my condition. As I showed her my scars, she told me I was so brave for allowing others to see my scars. But I don’t always feel courageous.
Sometimes, I feel like my heart can’t take any more breaks. What if my spirit gets broken again, and I don’t recover?
It’s natural to feel fear when we go beyond our comfort zone. But God strengthens and teaches me in the breaking. Without it, I would remain afraid and weak.
While I know this, I still stand firmly inside my comfort zone, trying to gain the courage to jump. God won’t take us to the next level until we let go of the one we are in. And He knows our deepest thoughts and intentions. We can’t fool God. We can’t proclaim that we are ready when we are not. He knows.
We might be able to hide from others and ourselves, but we can’t hide from God. So, the best thing to do is pray through it all.
When we pray through fear, we allow God to show us that He is what gives us courage.
When we pray through our insecurities, God will show us humility and that our confidence should be in Him.
When we pray through our trials, God will show us that He is the way.
The only way the enemy can defeat us is if we stop praying. As long as we continue praying about our circumstances and problems, we seek a solution through God.
The truth is that I struggle with lots of things. I am weak, but my Lord is strong. The enemy tries to make us believe that we should never struggle with anything, but then we wouldn’t need God.
If we know how to do it all, we don’t need God.
On my own, I don’t know how to do this work. But when I keep my eyes on GOD and PRAY THROUGH each step, He is ALWAYS there to help me. And I believe that is the reason for the struggle: to remind us that we need God.
God can heal the big and small breaks in my heart and help me overcome doubt or fear. And when we jump, God is there to catch us.

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