I used to hate summer. Well, that’s not entirely true. I hated how summer made me feel. It made me feel anxious and sick to my stomach. I loved swimming and the lake, but I didn’t love wearing a swimsuit to reveal my scars and taking off my shoes to show my feet. Especially when I had previously heard comments like, “If you have ugly feet do us all a favor and don’t wear sandals.” So, I didn’t. And for some crazy reason, I didn’t feel it was okay to wear them.
In my mind, they were only allowed for people with pretty feet.
Now I know that wearing or not wearing sandals is entirely my decision. Nobody gets to tell me what I can or can’t wear. Or make me feel as if I’m not good enough.
It’s all about what I feel comfortable with. To be honest, putting on a swimsuit is still hard for me. I spent so many years tearing my body apart that wearing one still makes me feel so vulnerable. But I do it anyway.
Our flesh will be at war with our soul as long as we live. It’s one of the ways the enemy fights us. He will even use it oppositely and tell us how good we look. So our ego will inflate, and we will act as if we are better than others.
The key is to find something that makes us feel comfortable. I try to find a swimsuit that allows me to have fun in the water while still feeling okay with how it looks and feels. And when I start judging myself, I remember that this is JUST MY FLESH.
The truth is that beauty really is inward. It carries my soul. So I try to allow my soul to shine through it all. I never want my flesh to distract from my soul.
We are all beautifully flawed. I don’t want my fleshly insecurities to keep me from having fun and loving others. And I truly hope that others around me feel safe enough to show their imperfections and embrace all the things which make them unique.
Have a beautiful day and wonderful summer!