Choosing Compassion Over Comparison: A Lesson on Empathy and Understanding

• By candidasullivan
• October 2, 2024
• No Comments

As soon as the words left my tongue, I regretted them. The sting of judgment pricked my heart. At that moment, I created a comparison that divided instead of joining. I could have extended compassion because I understood his struggles perfectly, but instead, I developed a bad attitude.

Here’s the conversation:
“My hands hurt so bad. I struggle to pick things up. You wouldn’t understand how terrible my situation is. My two fingers are numb, and it is so hard for me to pick things up. It affects everything I do.” the man explained, his frustration palpable in his voice.

I smiled a little as he talked and allowed his words to aggravate me. After he walked away, I said, “I wish I only had his hand problems.”

It was after my hand surgery to get the thumb on my left hand, and trying to learn how to use my hand a different way frustrated me. Would I ever regain the feeling in my hand? Would the pain ever go away? I understood more than I wanted to admit.

Comparing his pain and hands to mine made me feel bad. Suddenly, I was a victim of my circumstances all over again. Listening to him verbalize his struggles caused all of mine to surface. Not wanting to deal with my fears and insecurities, I created anger. I thought, how dare he complain about his problems when they are not as bad as mine. Anger felt better than fear.

But God showed me in those moments that comparing my pain to his didn’t help us. The truth is that we both experienced pain and numbness in our fingers. While one person may have worse circumstances, it doesn’t diminish someone else’s pain.

What I could have done in that situation is relate to him and offer him compassion. I could have used my knowledge of that type of pain to pray for him and ask God to ease his pain. But I didn’t. I allowed the judgment to steal my compassion.

When I feel the comparison surface, I try to stop it immediately. I never want to put someone else down for sharing their pain, regardless of its size.

God showed me that we are all in different places on our journey, with varying levels of strength. What might seem like a molehill to me might be a mountain to someone else. Regardless of the situation, I want to offer compassion and love and walk with those struggling.

I would much rather feel God’s blessings than the enemy’s judgments. To this day, I am so grateful that I didn’t say my ugly words to him. I would never want to shame someone else for voicing their pain.

When I cry out to Jesus and tell Him about my pain, He never tells me that my pain will never compare to what He suffered. Jesus uses His experience of suffering to understand mine. That’s how I want to be.

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