I may never understand why I fight so hard sometimes to hold onto my pain. While the event may have only happened once, I keep it alive and throbbing daily with my thoughts. I think about what happened and interpret the whole situation through the lens of the victim.
But at any time, I can change the story. I can allow Jesus to show me how to heal.
The healing is in the acceptance. While we may not have wanted what happened to us, the truth is that it did happen. No amount of resistance and crying can change one thing that has already happened. However, the change occurs in the acceptance that it did happen and the desire to let it all go.
While I would have never chosen to be affected and scarred by Amniotic Band Syndrome, it happened. I spent so many years holding onto the pain and trying to pray it away. But when I can take it all to God and ask Him to help me see things differently, through His eyes, hope emerges.
God can take it all and show me how to forgive, accept, reframe, and use it for good. When we choose to see the blessing amid the pain, the pain diminishes because the pain has a purpose.
I did this with my scars. The day I accepted that the bands did attack me and leave me scarred, instead of seeing myself as a victim, for the first time, I was able to see myself as someone who endured the trauma and survived it. But it didn’t stop there. I didn’t just survive it; I learned to overcome it.
Living with scars caused by Amniotic Band Sydrome no longer has any power over me. God showed me how to use my pain to help others.
One of the greatest gifts of my life was learning how to process my pain and let it go. I wish I could put it into words how amazing it feels to be free from the pain. I felt as if I was locked in a prison for years. And then I was given a second chance at life.
If you are suffering, please let me help you. It’s possible, sweet friend, to overcome it all.