Are You Still There, God?

• By candidasullivan
• September 3, 2026
• No Comments

Are you still there, God?

I have wondered this many times throughout my life, but I was too ashamed to speak the words. So I buried them inside. However, I’ve entered trials, feeling abandoned and alone. 

Just because something feels true doesn’t mean it is. That’s one of the greatest things I have learned in my life. Sometimes we believe a lie, and the lie causes us great pain. Without examining our thoughts and feelings, we assume they are valid and hold them close. I learned that my feelings were real, but they weren’t always telling me the truth.

Throughout my life, I have had quite the battle with fear. It has shown up for me in different ways. Sometimes it looks like anxiety, and other times it looks like anger. I went through a period in my life where I was afraid of everything. My mind always shifted to the worst-case scenario. 

The more I focused on the fear, the stronger it became. It was like I kept expecting something terrible to happen. My mind constantly scanned for the possibility of danger. 

I was afraid to drive. Afraid something might happen to my children. Terrified to be in crowds. Afraid to write. And when the panic overwhelmed me, I was afraid I might die and leave my children. 

I lived with constant fear. Every day it seemed to multiply. Nothing helped. I swallowed the pills my doctor prescribed, but they never completely removed the fear. It would lessen, but as the medication wore off, my fear came back with a vengeance. Honestly, I didn’t know how to explain what was happening to me. The constant fight-or-flight exhausted me. 

One evening, many years ago, while my heart raced, I went to the emergency room. And I will never forget how I was treated. It was hours before I was called back, even though the room was empty. Then, I was left in the exam room for a few more hours. Nothing was even happening in the ER. When the doctor finally came to see me, he told me that he thought I was only seeking medication. So I guess my punishment was to make me wait. 

He didn’t know that I drove myself to the ER because I thought I was going to die. Perhaps it didn’t look like an emergency to them, but if they could have only seen the storm raging inside of me. If they could have tested my fear, they would have probably treated me differently. You couldn’t see my suffering by looking at me. That didn’t mean I wasn’t suffering.

I didn’t understand that it was fear causing a panic attack. I needed someone to help me through it. I needed someone to care. I paid thousands of dollars to be treated so coldly. That night, I realized I needed to begin learning how to understand what was happening inside me and what I could do when the fear came.

So I started learning everything I could about it. I wanted to know what caused it, how to overcome an anxiety attack, and how to get my mind unstuck. 

I prayed for guidance. I read scriptures about fear and books about anxiety. I watched videos. And the more I learned, the more I was able to help myself. 

When the panic sets in, it’s hard to think about anything else. But I learned that redirecting my mind was very beneficial in stopping the panic. It is also very helpful to pray. To name exactly what I am feeling and tell the Lord. 

When I can slow it all down, I can come out of it. The racing heart and thoughts fuel the panic. So, if I redirect my thoughts to pray, it helps. 

I might say something like:

Lord, I’m scared. I’m struggling to breathe, and it feels like I might die. I know you are here with me. Lord, I ask you to calm the storm raging inside of me. Give me the peace that passes all understanding. Make the devil leave me alone. He’s scaring me, Lord. I’m not strong enough to fight him off. Lord, will you please hold me until this passes? 

Then I read scriptures on overcoming fear. 

John 14:27 KJV

²⁷ Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Isaiah 41:10 KJV

¹⁰ Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

2 Timothy 1:7 KJV

⁷ For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

For me, recognizing the spiritual battle surrounding my fear was an important part of healing. The enemy used my fear to whisper that God wasn’t close, that I wasn’t safe, and that I would never overcome it. So I learned to run toward God instead of allowing fear to convince me He had left.

If you are going through your own struggles, I want you to know that God is there. Today, one of the most powerful things you can do is tell the Lord all about it. Grab a journal and write it all out. Then ask God for the first step in overcoming it. He knows what we need, when we need it. 

I also plan to share more about my journey with anxiety and fear and how I found peace. While I am not a doctor or therapist, I am someone who has lived with it since I was a child. I understand how debilitating it can be. I also understand that it is possible to learn skills and ways to help us cope with it. 

Today, I want you to know you are not alone. Even if you can’t see any evidence of it in your life, God is near. And He cares about the things that hurt you. 

Therefore, when our minds question: 

Are you still there, God?

His Word answers:

“Fear thou not; for I am with thee.”