The Trial That Taught Me to Love Deeper

• By candidasullivan
• July 31, 2025
• No Comments

On one of the absolute worst days of my life, I doubted that God could use any of it for good. As I struggled to put one foot in front of the other, I felt betrayed and abandoned. I cried until my tears dried up, but the pain remained.

At times, it felt as if the trial would consume me. The fire surrounded me, and I felt alone.

I begged God to change things. With my words and tears, I continually asked. In the darkness of the night, when sleep abandoned me as well, I felt unloved, and the pain inside of me was greater than anything I had ever experienced.

Sweet friends, I honestly didn’t think I was going to make it through. Sometimes, if I am being honest, I didn’t want to.

I couldn’t see God’s plan. I didn’t realize that the fiery trial was there to refine me, not destroy me. It hurt. I resisted. I fought against it all with everything inside of me. Regardless of how I begged and cried, God didn’t remove the trial. But He was right there with me.

God didn’t change my circumstances like I asked, but He did change me. In the fire, He removed my judgments, my negative thoughts and beliefs, and the things holding me back. He cleansed all the hatred and restored my heart to love.

When I surrendered it all to God, He healed me.

Yesterday, it hit me how compelling that whole experience was for me. I was wrong. God uses it every day for good.

Now, I can love in a way that I couldn’t before. I can use my experiences to help others. I can sit with people in their heartaches and truly love them through it.

Sometimes, our hardships worsen before they improve. God gets us ready for the blessings. Before God changes our circumstances, He changes the things He needs to change in us. If we received it before it was time, it would become more of a burden than a blessing.

So, if you are in the fire, sweet friends, hold on. God can use it all for good. He can turn your deepest heartaches into the most beautiful blessings. Lean into the pain. Learn from it. And overcome it all through God.

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