Every time that we decide to be brave, to take a leap of faith and try something new, or work a little harder our inner critic shows up ready to take us down. Of all the mean things that people have said to me in my life, no one has ever spoken to me as hurtfully, cruel, and negatively as I have spoken to myself. But the saddest part of all is when I nurture those ugly words, and believe them.
The moment a hurtful thought occurs we usually absorb it. When we start thinking about it and dissecting it, the ugliness of it grows. By concentrating on the negativity, we are helping it to expand in our lives. Suddenly, that is all we can see. How often have we ripped ourselves apart over something that was actually a lie?
I wish I could say that I have mastered this process, but the truth is that I am still learning. My mind is still honed in on negative words and phrases. While I can usually dismiss the thoughts quickly now, I still feel the hurt of believing the lies—even for a moment. However, I have a system to help me overcome the process.
- Examine the thought. Is it the truth? How? In this system, I force myself to think about the situation, and back up my answers with facts. I will not allow myself to give a vague answer.
- Show myself some love. This is where I try to be my own best friend. When I’m down and feeling bad already, I don’t need more negativity. I need love and encouragement.
- Realize that not everyone will like me nor get me. I am unique. Not everyone will understand my dreams and goals. That is why their opinion should not matter to me. I can’t give up on purpose in life just because someone doesn’t understand nor like me.
- Reconnect with my why. Why do I do the things that I do?
When I go through this process, truthfully, it helps me to break free from the negative cycle. Once I interrupt my negative thoughts, I am able to overcome them. The only way I accept criticism is when it comes from a place of love. Otherwise, it tears me down, instead of helping me to improve.
Love and blessings,