I hate how excuses make me feel. Most often times they are stumbling blocks to me. When my mind is focusing on my problem and why I can’t do something, then it doesn’t look for solutions. It just accepts my excuse and then remains stuck in the cycle of pain, boredom, mediocracy, etc. without ever trying to overcome the solution.
When I train my brain, however, to look for the solution to my problem, instead of an easy way out, then I’m able to figure it out. That is one of the advantages of living with Amniotic Band Syndrome. I do things differently. Modifying life is my normal, therefore, I don’t accept the first failed attempt at anything. I’ve learned to regroup and try again. One of my first memories as a child is sitting on the floor, attempting to pick up something with my hand. I remember the concentration, the willingness to do it, and the relentless pursuit of the goal. In my memory, however, I don’t know if I finally picked it up or not. That’s not what the memory is all about. It is a reminder to me to be resilient in my efforts.
When I was told that I was disabled, it knocked me off my feet. I went home, crawled into my bed, pulled the covers over my head, and wept bitterly. I allowed myself to cry, to process the words spoken to me, and then I got up—determined to figure it out. While my first thought might have been, Oh God I am disabled. My biggest fear has come true. My next thought was, what do I need to do now? It happened. How can I overcome this?
Once I developed a plan, to change my diet and exercise, then I acted on it immediately. I didn’t wait for the perfect time or the money to do it. I made my mind up that day and I have never looked back. Yes, I cried through my first workout, but I did it. I knew that if I allowed my excuses to creep into my mind that they would destroy me. Getting better was my only option. I refused to think of any other possibility. Even when I temporarily got worse. I changed my diet once again and continued moving forward.
Was it hard? Yes, it was. It was a daily struggle. But it was so worth it. I was fighting for the quality of my life. My health is better now than it was 10 years ago. Every day I am so grateful that God was with me the whole time, whispering the suggestions in my ear. The gluten-free diet had been mentioned to me several times before, but it was hard and I didn’t want to do it. So I ignored the little tugs of my heart. I quickly learned, however, that hard is lying in the bed, barely able to walk, think, swallow, sleep, and speak. That is hard. Eating fruits, vegetables, lean meats, nuts, and exercising is not hard. In fact, it was something so easy that made the biggest difference for me.
Is God nudging you? Is there something that continues to come up repeatedly in your thoughts? Listen to the still small voice. Especially if it seems easy.
Love and blessings,