Let Hardship Strengthen, Not Harden, Your Heart

How do you want this hardship to change you?

When we go through something hard, it changes us. We can’t go through hardships and remain the same. The question we need to ask ourselves is, How do we want this hardship to change us? While we don’t get to decide what happens to us, we get to choose how we will react to what happens to us.

We can allow pain to make us bitter and angry, turning away from God, or we can use it to love more deeply and draw closer to God. It’s our choice.

Proverbs 23:7 KJV
7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.

Love is a beautiful gift from God. I once heard that grief is having so much love inside our hearts for someone and not being able to give it to them. That feels true for me. When we go through loss, our instinct is to close our hearts—it’s our brain’s way of trying to protect us.

But I don’t want the cycle of love to end. So, I fight through the pain and choose to love anyway.

One memory that stands out to me is when my daddy took me to see someone on their deathbed. I didn’t know the man, but the Lord connected us through His Spirit. He blessed me to hold his hand and to sing to him. By the time I left his home, I knew him and loved him in the Lord. When he died, it broke my heart. I wondered why God would do that to me—why would He introduce me to someone dying and allow me to love them?

Over time, God showed me: love itself is the gift. Love is precious to both those who give it and those who receive it. Grieving someone’s loss is an honor—it means they mattered to us. We honor them by mourning.

Sweet friends, I pray that even during great heartache, you will keep your heart open and love unconditionally. Let God comfort your heart in a way that only He can and help you through each moment. God can show us how to focus on the love instead of the loss.

So let me ask again: How do you want this hardship to change you?

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