It’s been such a tough week.
I’ve had a headache for days. It’s not just any headache. It’s one of those that steals my sleep, causes me tremendous pain, numbness on one side of my body, doubts and so many fears. It takes me back to the days when all I could do was lie in the bed and cry. My hands are suddenly so weak; I struggle just to open doors and hold a cup. And it scares me—terrifies me really.
I have two months of school visits and other events scheduled. Right now if I had to sign books, I don’t think I could do it. Just to finish my work this week, I had to get several adjustments from the chiropractor, take frequent breaks and lay on ice most days. I’m not sure if I can finish out the rest of the day or week, not to mention the next two months. But surprisingly, I don’t want to curl up in a ball and feel sorry for myself, nor do I want to quit. I want to fight back. I don’t want the devil to defeat me.
It seems the harder I try, the harder the devil fights me. My body is dealing with stress—the good and bad kind, and I don’t know how to handle it all. Once again, I’m reminded how hard life can be at times. How scary it can seem and how uncertain every day truly is to us all. And it’s during these times when I realize how weak I am and the incredible strength of my God.
I’m so thankful that God reminds me that I need Him every moment of every day for the rest of my life. He reminds I will always have obstacles to overcome and heartaches to bear. And the best part is I am NEVER alone. Whatever that happens; me and God will face it and conquer it. During the most painful moments, He reminds me of my happiest times. He reminds me of my accomplishments and the lives He has blessed me to touch. And He gives me beautiful scriptures to reflect on and hold close to my heart.
He is my rock, my comforter, my deliverer and my hiding place. When He takes me into His arms no one can hurt me. And He reminds me this shall pass. These heartaches and feelings are only temporal. It’s the things which last forever that are important.
As I scroll through my newsfeed on Facebook today, there are numerous prayer requests for those who are battling sickness and those who have lost a loved one. It breaks my heart and I realize we are all fighting some type of battle. We need each other’s prayers and love to make it through these hard times. Every now and again we (I really mean me) need to stop thinking about ourselves and focus on others. I’ve allowed the devil to overtake me these last few weeks and to use my grief as a weapon against me. I’ve allowed him to distract me with my own problems so that I can’t pray for others.
But my God always comes through right on time and gives me what I need.
It is with tears that I reflect on God’s word.
It is with tears that I pray.
It is with tears that I write.
It is with tears that I get strength.
I’m so thankful that every once in a while God gives me tears to cry— some for me, some for others, and some for Him. And then He shows me how to get back up, dust myself off, and keep moving forward.
He shows me how to survive a bad day!
1. Realize this heartache will soon pass. These feelings will not last forever.
2. Pray! For me, and then for someone else.
3. Remind myself all things work together for my own good. And God knows what is best for me.
4. Remember the only way to truly pray is with a broken heart.
5. The devil fights me the hardest when I’m doing something good for my Lord.
6. Sometimes we are given tests to see how we will handle certain situations.
8. Think positive thoughts.
10. Count my blessings.
11. Read His beautiful words of power.
12. Know that God is always in control.
13. And then finally smile, whether you feel like it or not. A smile can be contagious and maybe someone else needs it too.
May God bless you and help your through your trials!