Ending the Year in Obedience, Not Defeat

• By candidasullivan
• December 20, 2025
• No Comments

Do you like how you are living and who you are becoming?

Sometimes a simple question from my Lord can tear it all down for me. Lately, this question has been echoing in my heart. When God holds up a mirror to my life, and I see my complete reflection, the pain of what I see makes me want to turn away. I want to ignore and deny—shun away the uncomfortable feelings the truth reveals.

Every time I ignore and deny, I add more misery and suffering to my life. When God shows me the problems and I refuse to do anything about them, I choose my suffering and misery a little longer.

If this becomes my pattern, my life becomes a limitation I feel powerless to overcome.

With every lie I choose to believe, I strengthen the enemy’s voice. The more leverage he gains over me, the harder it becomes to defeat him. Eventually, living in suffering causes me to feel depressed and overwhelmed with life.

Survival mode kicks in.
And we stop living—
and start enduring.

In the last few months, I have been there. Battling limitations and hardships, just trying to make it through the day. The fear of the unknown and the denial of what my heart truly desires have crushed me.

I’ve felt myself slipping back into old patterns. Snoozing for a little longer instead of getting up immediately. Reaching for social media first instead of spending time with my Lord. Even just a few minutes makes a difference.

I’ve skipped workouts and listened to the enemy’s excuses.

It’s easier to believe that my hands are too swollen to work out than it is for me to adapt and creatively look for another option. But every time I accept my limitations without questioning them, I make them stronger.

This week was so hard for me. I felt tired all week. I was in daily pain. My thoughts were a jumbled mess, stuck between disgust and pity.

Yesterday, I decided to make changes.
And everything began to shift.

I am not going to live this way. I refuse to spend my days juggling fear and complaints.

Sweet friends, the enemy sneaks into our thoughts. What we think becomes our emotions. Then our emotions create our actions. Believing the wrong things can be detrimental to our lives.

What thought has been shaping your days lately?

I started with prayer. I can’t truly change anything without the Lord. When I open my heart and tell Him exactly where I am and what I am feeling, I invite Him into my problem-solving. Regardless of where I find myself, I can ask for forgiveness and start over.

I’m disappointed in myself for not sticking with my goals as I should have. When we give ourselves a year to accomplish things, we procrastinate. With less than two weeks left in this year, I wanted to accept defeat, erase my goals, and wait for a fresh start.

But I am not quitting early.

I am going to give the rest of the year everything I have to offer. I’m going to end the year strong so that I can begin the next one from a beautiful place.

Yesterday, I wrote a new Zippy book and sent out letters to agents for representation. I got up early on my Saturday to write and sit with God. This may not seem big to the world, but it was obedience.

I will not accept defeat and lie down. God gave me this beautiful life and gifts to enjoy and use to help others, and that is exactly what I will do.

Yes, the enemy is fighting me hard. He wants me to become so discouraged that I will quit. If you’re feeling resistance too, you’re not imagining it.

After I wrote the first draft of my new Zippy book, I went out for a walk. In the sky, I saw a little rainbow prism.

When I looked it up, this was the description I found:

Spiritually, it represents seeing deeper truths, interconnectedness, or spiritual gifts emerging from one source, like Christ or the self.

All I could do was smile and thank my Lord. He sees me. He understands what I am going through.

This is not just a battle within myself—it is spiritual.
And spiritual battles require spiritual weapons.

I am so thankful that my God has everything I need.

Psalm 37:4–5 (KJV)
4 Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
5 Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.