When I Was the One Who Hurt Someone

• By candidasullivan
• August 15, 2025
• No Comments

Years ago, I hurt my daddy. While I don’t remember what was said, I remember the hurt I saw in his eyes. I was pregnant, on bed rest, and having contractions daily. I couldn’t sleep well and just felt miserable. So I took a situation and completely overreacted. I exploded because I was sad, and my anger landed on him.

Instantly, I regretted my actions and words. If I could have snatched them back, I would have gladly done so, but I couldn’t. However, I did apologize. And my dad gave me a lesson in forgiveness. He forgave me and never brought it up again. Nor did he treat me any differently. It was as if the explosion had never happened.

He knew I was having a tough time in my life. So instead of lashing out at me with more pain, he gave me grace and unconditional love instead. He showed me how to treat him as well as others. Then, when a similar situation happened to me, and I was on the receiving end of someone else’s anger, I was able to forgive them, as my dad had forgiven me.

So often, we speak of love, but our love has conditions. We love as long as everything is okay. The minute pain is involved, we allow it to overpower the love. Unintentionally, I have hurt all those that I love. I have judged, exploded, screamed, pulled away, and not shown up as my best self.

When we are in a relationship with others, we have to extend grace.
If all those I have hurt turned away from me, I would be alone. I am not perfect, and as hard as I try, sometimes I allow the enemy to use me to do his work. He takes my frustrations, disappointments, heartaches, and so on, and uses them against me. Most of the time, I am so weak that I don’t even resist him.

Regardless of all the times I fail and come short, my God and family love me unconditionally. When I am struggling, they pray for me and wrap me in their arms of love. Nothing is more important to me than God and my family.

My ego or flesh tries to set me apart when problems arise. The flesh tries to tell me that this thing shouldn’t have happened to me. It wants me to get mad and to fight. My soul, however, wants me to love and to forgive and put it all behind me.

Sometimes God allows things to happen so we can learn and grow. We can let the bad things that happen to us destroy us, or we can use them to grow and become an even better version of ourselves. The victim mindset makes us feel hopeless and helpless. In comparison, the overcomer mindset empowers us.

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