Have you ever thought about divorce?

• By candidasullivan
• April 26, 2023
• No Comments

While this is not something I enjoy talking about, I am incredibly thankful that someone reached beneath all my layers and helped me. When God put this on my heart to share, I didn’t want to go back many years ago and uncover all those feelings, nor talk about something so personal. But I almost destroyed my family, and someone helped me, so I want to pay it forward and help you.

If you are thinking about divorce and feel torn and unsure what to do, I would like to share my experience. The first place I had to start was with this question.

Did God join you?

This is a question only God can answer for you. If He joined you, your desire for a divorce might be a spiritual attack on your marriage, created by Satan to hurt your beautiful family.

I left Shannon once. I was done. Mentally checked out. I had convinced myself I didn’t love him anymore. It was hard to be a wife and a mom; I just wanted a break. I wanted to go back to my parent’s house again, where everything was easier.

Not being happy didn’t have anything to do with Shannon. It was an inside problem. I was not satisfied with myself. I felt unsure of my future, and I was questioning my path. Therefore, I couldn’t see the beauty in any of it. Someone asked me, “Can’t you see how he looks at you? I would love for someone to look at me that way.”

The question and statement raised enough doubt in my decision to explore it. That night I prayed and asked God to show me what to do. He took me back to our wedding, showed me how I felt that day, and confirmed that He had joined us. I had absolutely no doubt that God gave me Shannon to love.

And that day, I realized the beauty of love. It’s not Shannon’s job to make me happy. It’s his job to love me. Then it’s up to me what I do with the love. I can nurture and watch it grow or criticize, reject, and let it die.

Sometimes we fight the wrong enemy. We fight each other when we should be holding each other’s hands in prayer and fighting the enemy trying to destroy our love and home.

I can’t tell you what to do. I don’t know your particular situation. But God does. He knows it all, and if you are truly married in His eyes. Sit with Him until the answer is clear. The price for getting this decision wrong is high. Especially if the cost is hurting those, you love the most.

I get sick when I think about how close I came to destroying the home and family God gave me. I wouldn’t have my second son or the beautiful love I have today.

Every day I chose to honor my vows and do my best to be a good wife. Now I ask God to show me how to be the wife that Shannon needs. I ask Him to help me love my husband how he needs to be loved.

Sweet friends, the enemy is after our marriages and our children. The only way we can withstand the attacks is through prayer. God has grace for our every need. He can help us with all things.

In my indecision, God made it perfectly clear to me that if I broke my vows, I would be breaking my promise to Shannon and my promise to Him. And I knew in my heart that I would never find real love again.

When I returned home and worked through our challenges, we took divorce off the table. God showed us that we were married in His eyes, so we vowed never to mention it again. And that was twenty-plus years ago.

Whatever your decision, sweet friend, please ensure it is God’s will. If not, the problems it may cause might be more than you can handle.