Freedom from People-Pleasing

Are you a people-pleaser? Do you put others before the Lord?

When I sit down to read my Bible each morning, I ask God to guide me in my reading. Usually, I will hear the book and then the chapter. If I allow God to lead me, it is always exactly what I need. This morning it was extra special.

I am a people-pleaser. I will usually put others before myself. Even if I feel like my life is on fire and I am burning to the ground. I will still give what little strength I have left to someone else. I could be in the midst of a crisis myself, but if someone calls and needs me, I set aside my own needs and feelings.

But I didn’t realize I was also allowing others to come before my Lord.

Colossians 3:2 KJV
2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.

As God directed me to the third chapter of Colossians, He revealed some things to me about people-pleasing. We need to keep our hearts centered on the Lord and His goodness, rather than the things of the world. When our focus shifts to pleasing others, it distracts us from the “above things” God calls us to.

Colossians 3:22 KJV
22 Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God.

The Bible actually speaks against trying to please others. Eyeservice means that we perform actions driven by the desire to please others and gain their approval, rather than out of a genuine service to God. At the same time, singleness of heart means having our hearts fixed on God, undistracted.

Here’s what I’ve learned about trying to please others. It’s not possible. We can do our absolute best, with great intentions and a loving heart, but it will never be enough. Others will still find fault with us. But if we do it for God, wholeheartedly, then He will reward us accordingly and bless our efforts.

Colossians 3:23-24 KJV
23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
24 Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.

If we follow the Lord in all situations, according to His will, we can’t fail. Even if we do things for others and they speak ill of us or are mean to us, it will be okay because we know that we did it for the Lord. After all, He asked us to do it.

Living for the Lord in all situations is the best decision. Therefore, we need to pray about it all. We need to ask God to reveal to us where our hearts are and why we are doing the things we do. And before we rush to do things, we need to pray for guidance.

If we live this way, the approval of others won’t be a concern or a desire because our hearts will be centered on the Lord. The more we keep our eyes on the Lord, the more we will desire His approval.

Reflection Questions:

  • Am I doing this for the Lord, or for people?
  • Do I pray before I commit to helping others?
  • In what areas of my life am I seeking approval from people more than from God?
  • How would my day change if I did everything as unto the Lord?

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