Fighting Depression with Faith: From Rock Bottom to Rising Up

• By candidasullivan
• May 23, 2025
• No Comments

I caused my depression and anxiety.

Some things are more challenging for me to share than others, and this is one of those conversations. While some may disagree with my thought process, I believe what I’m about to share wholeheartedly. But please know, before you read any further, that this is my story. I’m not saying this is the same for everyone.

A part of me wishes I could recount my time as depressed and anxious as a chemical or hormonal imbalance and believe that it was not my fault. In blaming something else, I lose my power. I’ve learned that I can only reclaim my power and see my part in it all when I can see my eyes through a Godly perspective.

It wasn’t my circumstances that caused me to become depressed or anxious. It was my thoughts about them. I chose to feel sorry for myself and to see myself as a victim. I decided to lay in bed every day and read books rather than do things to help myself. Time after time, I gave into my flesh and ignored the cry of my soul.

I believed it would never get better. I thought I wasn’t good enough or worthy, so I allowed the enemy’s lies to loop in my mind. Every day, I chose the easier path, making my life harder.

Some days, I didn’t shower or even comb my hair. I didn’t work. I napped, read, felt sorry for myself, and tried to escape the prison I had created for myself.

I remember the day my doctor looked me in the eye and told me if I didn’t get out of bed, then very soon, I wouldn’t be able to get out. His comment made me mad. I thought, how dare you! I’m sick. My body hurts continuously. You don’t know what it feels like to live in my body. You don’t understand my pain.

After I finished my temper tantrum, I went to the gym. I knew my doctor was right. After a few months of lying around, my body was stiff and so painful. And spending my days crying and feeling sorry for myself wasn’t helping me at all.

Deciding to fight back was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I didn’t know what I was doing or how to improve, but I was determined to try. I fought back with everything inside of me. I changed my diet and started exercising every day.

I cried through my first workouts. I wanted to give up. I wanted to go back to bed and pull the covers over my head. I wanted to be a victim and stay in my comfort zone every day.

But the smaller I made my life, the more anxiety I felt. I was afraid to drive, go places, or be in crowds, and that something I couldn’t handle would happen to me. During the night, I would wake up in a panic and feel as if I was dying. I would struggle to breathe, fear the absolute worst, and feel so hopeless and helpless.

Writing saved me.

When I started writing, it felt like the soul trapped inside my body was speaking. God used my pen and paper to speak to me and teach me. He helped me to see things differently. When my thoughts changed, my feelings changed, and then my life changed.

God helped me uncover each lie and defeat it with the truth. He helped me to see my worth and believe in myself.

The enemy targets our flesh, sweet friends. He attacks our bodies, emotions, and minds. Taking medicine didn’t help me to overcome the thoughts. It didn’t heal me. But when I took every thought captive and brought it before the Lord, He showed me what to do with it.

We have the mind of Christ. We have to let God show us how to use it.

I learned to be disciplined and to bring my flesh under subjection. With God’s help, I got out of bed and did what needed to be done.

We give him more power over us every time we give into the enemy. When we feel the urge to follow Satan and do things that are harmful to us, we can pray. God knows how to help us.

However, prayer alone won’t do it. We can’t just ask God to help us and keep doing whatever we want. We have to ask God to show us what to do and then do it.

God showed me that the first step was to get out of bed and get ready every day. Once I learned to do that, He added it to my daily list. Then, I started reading my Bible, journaling, and exercising.

I can’t even begin to tell you how these things helped me. I truly feel it if I miss one of them for a few days.

Ask God what you need to do to help yourself. He has all the answers. Sometimes, we try to figure things out for ourselves, and we make life much harder than it needs to be.

Sometimes, stress still creeps into my life, and when it does I have natural supplements I take to help me. But my problem is usually one thought causing me pain. If I find the thought, I can pray and work on it with the Lord.

It’s been over fifteen years since I took any medicine for depression or anxiety. I continuously read books about the mind. I want to learn every possible way to help myself and others.

I am not a victim of my circumstances. I am an overcomer.