Choosing Compassion Over Judgment

What do you want your part to be in their story?

No one ever wants to become an addict. It happens slowly and often sneaks up on us. I believe every addiction begins with pain. The moment we feel pain, we start searching for a way to alleviate it. Different people have different coping methods. Some people are addicted to food, some to shopping or scrolling on social media, while others become addicted to drugs, etc.

We all have triggers. When we feel the trigger, we take the corresponding action. After a while, we do this unconsciously, which is why it becomes an addiction. So often, we destroy our lives without even realizing what we are doing to ourselves.

From the outside looking in, it can be easy to judge other people’s addictions—especially when we make it about us. When we think our loved one is choosing drugs over spending time with us, it breaks our hearts. When we think we are just not enough, otherwise they wouldn’t turn to drugs, we create a story in our minds about the situation. But it’s the story we tell ourselves that often causes the deepest pain.

The truth is, pain consumes them. Your loved one doesn’t know how to overcome the pain. In the depths of their hearts, I don’t believe anyone wants to be consumed by any addiction. They are just trying to survive—another moment, another breath.

We have two choices:

We can judge them and condemn them for their actions, heaping even more pain onto their lives.
Or we can love them right where they are. We can choose to pray for them and to love them unconditionally. Every day, with our love, we can give them a glimpse of hope.

Imagine one day, they overcome it all. What will their testimony say about how you treated them during the darkest time of their lives? Do you want them to say that you turned your back on them? Or do you want them to say that you loved them through it all and gave them a glimpse of God along the way?

That thought helps me choose love and compassion every day.

If I were addicted to something that was destroying my life, I would want my family to love me through it all and to pray for me. That is what I extend to my loved ones. I want to love others the way God loves me. When I make a mistake, God doesn’t turn His back on me. He comes and sits with me in the trenches of my life and loves me through it all.

1 Corinthians 13:7 (KJV)
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Reflection Questions

When you think of someone struggling with addiction, what story do you tell yourself about their choices?
Do you tend to judge or to pray for them?
If their testimony included you, what do you want them to say about how you treated them?
How can you show God’s love to them today—even in a small way?

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