A few years ago, I had a similar thought. My back was against the dryer. It was in the middle of the night, and tears streamed down my face. In the darkness, I poured my heart out to God.
I told Him about the challenges my hands provide. I told Him about my heartaches and fears. I told Him all of my raw emotions. In between sobs, I asked for help. I was trying to write Underneath the Scars, and I was struggling.
What I expected and what I received were two entirely different things.
The first version of the book is not the one published. Scattered throughout the first attempt was self-pity. I wrote each word as a victim of my circumstances. But with each draft, God helped me to reframe it all. God allowed me to uncover the person underneath the scars with words, prayers, and tears.
Sitting in the darkness, with my eyes swollen and my heart broken, God helped me choose forgiveness and acceptance. He helped me to reframe my circumstances beautifully. Through acceptance, God transformed my heartaches into blessings.
It stopped hurting me when I accepted that this was supposed to happen to me because it did and that God could take all of my brokenness, fears, heartaches, pain, and disappointments and make them beautiful and meaningful.
Gratitude replaced the self-pity in my life. I stopped being a victim of my circumstances, leaned into God, and allowed Him to show me how to be an overcomer. He would have taken me as a baby when the bands attacked if my life had just been about me and what I wanted.
I believe my purpose is to reach my full potential in life. So I want to live as if everything is beautiful. I want to spend my days looking for God in every moment. I want to be the most beautiful and loving person I can be. And I want to experience and see God in many ways before I die.
I want to be so thankful for everything God does for me. I feel so loved and blessed. I want to enjoy every moment of my wonderful life. One day as I reach His arms, I can only imagine the amazing feeling of thanking Him for it all.
Have a beautiful day!