The truth has a beautiful yet sad way of giving me clarity. It’s beautiful because it opens my eyes to what I have been yearning for, and painful because it breaks my heart and hurts my feelings.
The breakthrough comes after the breakdown.
I’m emotional this morning. My body, resolve, mindset, limiting beliefs, and identity is breaking down. My mind is swirling with everything I need to do while the enemy tells me why I can’t do those things. Yesterday my legs felt so heavy as I tried to walk. It’s almost like I couldn’t move forward, even though I wanted to.
I can’t even explain my feelings. I only have a few days left of this challenge, but it seems hard. I know that my identity will shift once I complete it. I will leave my old, flawed, limiting mindset within the confinement of this challenge. And someone new will emerge. That’s how it works when we overcome things. We are never the same.
In the two weeks, my bandages were on after my hand surgery, I grieved for the part of my hand I lost while I rejoiced in the thumb I gained. It’s kind of like the hardships I faced with my thumb. I felt guilty for removing part of my hand, even if it meant gaining something better.
Most people give up before the blessing happens because the breakdown can be scary. Trusting the Lord and the process during this time can be so hard. Faith is letting go of what we can see and do and trusting God to do the things we can’t do or even see.
We can’t have a breakthrough without faith.
Having faith, however, doesn’t mean it will be easy. What it does mean is that it is possible. We show up differently when we have unwavering faith. I didn’t know what would happen to my hand, but as they wheeled me into surgery, I held on tight to verse 28 in Romans chapter 8.
Romans 8:28 KJV
28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
If I believe this will all work together for good, it gives me the faith to believe it is possible and the courage to follow the Lord. This version of me can’t go to the next level. Therefore, I have to die to myself to become the person God created me to be.
Like with my books and thumb, I know God has been preparing me for this my whole life. I can hold on to who I am and what I want, or let go and let God make me into what He wants me to be.
It helps me understand that precious moment Jesus had with God in the garden so much better.
Matthew 26:39 KJV
39 And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.
When we, too, can fall upon our face and pray not my will Lord, but yours, we will see great blessings. God can’t fully use us as long as we are holding back and trying to control the outcome.
I’ve had my breakdown and put it all in the Lord’s hands. Now I know my breakthrough is coming. And in the depths of my soul, I know God will give me the desires of my heart. Following the Lord feels a lot like this picture. Sometimes you just have to jump and trust the Lord to catch you.
Have a wonderful day!