For many years I carried around the burden of not feeling as if I were good enough—even for God to love. It was a heavy burden to carry. The weight of it nearly destroyed me.
You see, I thought because my body was attacked by the amniotic bands that it somehow made me less of a person. As a teenager, the devil had almost convinced me that the world would be better off without me. The enemy put his lies in my head and I believed them. I felt a deep sense of shame because I thought my scars were a punishment. I had made up a story in my mind about them. And my made up story broke my heart. It took me a long time to realize that I could change my story.
The day I realized that I could have died, but God spared me completely changed my life. It changed my story. I went from telling my story from the voice of a victim to a survivor. Then, I was able to go from survivor to a warrior.
Psalm 139:13-14 (KJV)
13 For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
God doesn’t make mistakes. He creates each of us exactly like He wants us to be. My scars draw me closer to God. The help me to be empathetic to others. Living with scars has taught me to look beyond the exterior of others and into the soul.
Now, I can talk about my scars without shame, and see them with gratitude. I am alive. The enemy attacked me in my mom’s womb, but God spared my life. Every day that I am blessed to live is such a gift. I am so grateful to God for giving me the right perspective on my life. He can help you as well. What painful story are you telling yourself? Ask God to give you the right perspective to see your situation with a new understanding. There is freedom on the other side.
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